An Indian-origin tech professional working in the US shared an emotional account of not being able to see his dying mother, saying the visa delay left him stuck for choice. He calls this “the biggest regret of my life.”
“Gautam Dey works in the US on an H-1B visa and described on LinkedIn how his mother died of stage 4 lung cancer while he was still trying to get an appointment to get his visa stamped to travel to India.“Today I write this not as an engineer, not as an H-1B worker… I write this as a son,” he wrote.According to American Bazaar, he said that his mother was hospitalized for 17 days and he made repeated attempts to obtain travel approval during that period.“My mother was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. She was hospitalized for 17 days. During that time, I was desperately trying to get an appointment to get her visa stamped so I could travel to see her,” he wrote.Dai moved to the United States in 2007 after being hired by a multinational company to work in the specialty software field. He said he spent years working under the visa regime, paying taxes and building technology products.“I didn’t come here to cut anyone’s salary. I was brought in for my expertise, to solve a serious software problem and fix vulnerabilities that need attention,” he said.
But when his mother’s condition worsened, he said administrative delays made travel nearly impossible. He explained that leaving the United States without a visa appointment could lead to serious consequences, including losing his job and legal status.“If I travel without an appointment, I could be stuck outside the United States for several months,” he said. “I could lose my job, my legal status, and my family status.”He described repeatedly trying to get an emergency appointment.“I sent the hospital documents to the consulate. I tried for 26 days to get an appointment. I refreshed, waited, prayed and hoped. But time did not wait,” he wrote.Painful decisionDay said he had to make a painful decision between staying with his mother or protecting his family’s future in the United States.“So I was forced to make an impossible choice: be with my dying mother. Or protect my children’s future. No human being should ever be put in this position,” he wrote.He was ultimately unable to reach India in time. His mother died before he could travel.He said: “I could only see her through the phone screen. I could only hear her voice through the phone. This will remain the biggest regret of my life.”In his post, Day said he did not blame any country or regime, but presented the emotional impact of migration processes.“This is not a political post. This is not about blaming a country.
It is a human cost that is rarely talked about, he wrote.He added: “But the dream should not turn into a cage at the moment when your family needs you most.”He also gave advice to young professionals who are considering working abroad.“To every young professional who dreams of an H-1B life: Please think twice. India is changing… You don’t have to measure success once you leave home,” he wrote.He concluded his post by saying, “Because no career dream should put you in a situation where you have to choose between your mother’s final moments and your children’s future. I lost that choice. I will carry this pain forever.”
