Actress and film director Pooja Bhatt has opened up about the real reason her marriage to ex-husband Manish Makhija didn’t work out, revealing that it was a growing feeling of loneliness – not infidelity or conflict – that prompted her to walk away from the relationship after 11 years.In a recent conversation with Vicky Lalwani, Pooja reconsidered her marriage to Manish, whom she met while working on her directorial debut film Baab. The couple tied the knot in a private ceremony in Goa in 2003 before separating in 2014.
“There was no one else”
Addressing long-standing assumptions surrounding their separation, Pooja said that many people believe that there must have been someone else in her life when she decided to end the marriage.“A lot of my friends asked me: ‘You’ve been married for 11 years. Why are you ending the marriage? Is there someone else?’” The answer was no. There was no one else. “I wasn’t even thinking about anyone else,” she said.According to Pooja, the marriage breakdown stemmed from emotional separation.“I ended my marriage because I felt alone in that relationship. When you live with someone and you still feel lonely, that relationship is no longer a relationship.
“You slowly lose each other while living under the same roof.”
“I lost myself as a woman”
Pooja said her relationship with Manish was built on friendship and trust, but over time she felt they had drifted apart.“I told him our relationship started with friendship and trust. I never looked over your shoulder and I never will. But I felt like it was over. We had lost each other, and somewhere along the way, I had lost myself as a woman. I wanted to get myself back.”She added that continuing the marriage would have felt dishonest.“The continuation of the marriage could have been a lie, and I cannot live a lie,” she said.
“I won’t blame anyone else for my unhappiness.”
The actress explained that she wanted to take ownership of her happiness rather than hold someone else responsible for her emotional state.“I was very clear that I was not going to spend the rest of my life blaming someone else for my unhappiness,” she said.Today, Pooja believes that the most important relationship in her life is the one she shares with herself.“I am the captain of my own ship. I have been fortunate to have wonderful relationships in my life, but today I enjoy the most profound and sacred relationship of all, the relationship I have with myself.”
Why did motherhood influence her decision?
Pooja also revealed that her lack of desire to become a mother was another sign that the marriage was not working for her.“One of the reasons I knew my marriage wasn’t working was because I didn’t want to have children.
“I love children, but the desire to become a mother never came.”She said she trusted her instincts rather than forcing herself into a role she didn’t really want.“I had been working throughout my 30s and had a lot of things I wanted to do. But the feeling of becoming a mother simply wasn’t there. I listened to my body and my instincts.”According to Pooja, not having children made it easier for both of them to evaluate the future honestly.“Fortunately, we didn’t have children, so we could honestly think about what was right for us,” she added.
“We don’t talk anymore”
While the former couple initially remained cordial after their split, Pooja revealed that they are no longer in touch.“Even after our marriage ended, we remained friends because I believed there was mutual respect between us.”However, she said things have changed over the years.“Monish and I don’t talk anymore. We haven’t talked in a very long time.
There was a period when I honestly thought we were friends. Then lockdown happened, and I think it changed people in many ways. Masks appeared, but some masks also fell.Reflecting on their relationship today, she said: “We had a friendship, or at least I thought we did. But if a friendship couldn’t stand the hard times, then maybe it wasn’t a friendship at all. It couldn’t stand the test of time.”
‘There is no resentment’
Although they no longer share the friendship, Pooja said she has no bitterness towards her ex-husband.“I really wish him well. There’s no malice or resentment there. I’ve moved on.”She also explained that while she remains open to finding love again, she is not looking for someone to complete her life.“I’m satisfied. I’m open to a relationship, but I’m not looking for a solution. I’m looking for a companion in the true sense of the word. If a companion comes, that’s great. If not, life is still good.”
