This isn’t the first time Cazzie David has released deeply personal work to the public. In 2020 it was published No one asked for thisIn which she wrote candidly about her struggles with panic attacks and her breakup with Pete Davidson. She also co-wrote and directed an independent film about toxic relationships, i love you forever (2024). However, as expected, none of these experiences helped ease the blow of releasing another book. “I’ve been struggling to find ways to talk about it,” she says of Delusions: Of Grandeur, Romance, and Progress, which reflects on turning 30 and all the existential crises that come with it. “It’s hard to describe a book of essays. This is absolutely terrible. If someone doesn’t like this book, he’s not just saying he doesn’t like my writing. It’s ‘I don’t like your character.'”
David, now 31, also has a hard time realizing that her book might find a good audience — an audience that would read stories about her life that she wrote without fully considering the fact that they would go public. “When it’s time to turn in the manuscript, you’ll be waiting. I haven’t decided if all of this is going to be in the book! But I think that about everything in the book, so they took it all away. They basically snatched this away from me and I had no other choice.”
Some articles are benign and well documented; Stories about her neurosis and obsession with her father’s health, Seinfeld and Curb your enthusiasm Creator Larry David. Others are more obvious. Her account of trying to make a new friend and the disastrous dinner party that followed, a harrowing experience on the set of an (unnamed) independent film, a harrowing experience of becoming a member of a famous and influential (unnamed) gym in Los Angeles. “Please don’t mention the name of the actual gym, even though it will be pretty obvious to anyone reading it, but I’m not looking forward to dealing with the consequences,” she says. “This gym was very comfortable for me and I don’t think I’ll ever be allowed back there. So I’ll have to mourn the places I used to go and the people I used to see.”
The fact that Los Angeles has an invitation-only gym for influencers and celebrities, which is free to use in exchange for posting on social media, and Everyone at the gym wears the brand’s proprietary clothing — perfect fodder for a comic strip. I can’t believe you’re the first person to describe it.
Yes, I was surprised no one was there and I’m glad I did. Once again, this will impact my life deeply. Anytime I write about someone else, whether it’s relationships or professional matters, I’m really afraid that anyone will see it. It’s funny because when you read something, or watch a movie, about something that’s real, it doesn’t really occur to you that the person who wrote it might not support it 100%. I’m not being harsh by any means, I’m not writing this stuff like, fuck that. I ask myself all the time. It’s the bravest choice to write these things, and I’m not a brave person by any means but I try to justify it as my job as an observer of my own life. And if someone does something ridiculous, you can also tell yourself that it’s their fault. I’m also trying to do that for me experience in it; I don’t share anything personal about someone else.
I recently interviewed your father, and he said this to you Curb your enthusiasmIt’s inspired by real-life interactions he’s had but changes so much that no one recognizes themselves in them; This can’t be true, right?
I don’t think that’s true either. When he said that, I was like Okay. I think he’s only encountered something on the show once, and that’s it He believes He’s making slight changes. But also, people are so self-involved that they can blatantly watch or read something about them that doesn’t occur to them.
Do you give people in articles a heads-up that you’re writing about them?
If there was someone close to him, or someone I was close to, I would reach out and tell them even if they weren’t terribly recognizable. But also a lot of what’s in the book was made up for comedic purposes or for the sake of the story. There are three friends of mine that I turned into a new person.
So the breakup you’re writing about is a combination of breakups?
Yes. I really wanted to talk about this thing that happens when you’re in your late 20s and early 30s, where you’re not ready to break up with someone but you feel like you have to for the sake of your future. You want to make the right decisions with her and not waste any more time, and it seems like you can’t have a fun boyfriend anymore. This person is not someone who can carry half the burden of life with you. So, to make that character, it took taking things from different friends that I had in my twenties and putting them into one person.
Do you consider yourself an old soul? Those fears you describe are completely relatable, but I’m a bit older than you and didn’t start noticing those things among my peers until my 30s.
I guess I’m really worried about the future and I take very seriously these pressures and illusions that are inherent in our modern society. I’d love to be delusional enough to disconnect from the modern world and not think about those things – I don’t know whether it’s rational or irrational to think my way through an unreasonable existence.
Did your parents read the entire book? There are some sex scenes and I wonder if you let them see those parts.
I tried to send a redacted copy to Jeffrey Epstein. My mother got impatient and read the unedited version, which upset me greatly. My parents read my work very differently. My mom reads it as a mother and my dad reads it as a writer, so I feel more comfortable showing it to my dad. My mom was quite worried after reading the book. My father, the more annoying it is, the happier he is.
Have you seen the revised versions of curb?
I didn’t watch it until I was in college, so it was the complete version. But yeah, no one wants to see that, let’s be honest.
Given the way you were raised, have you ever considered another career?
never. After college, I really wanted to get into the TV industry and it was very difficult despite all the doors it opened for me. I spent eight years in development with four different streamers and six different pilots. I thought my writing fit well into a 30-minute script, but I needed an outlet for my thoughts, and so I started writing articles.
Many people whose parents work in the industry say it helped prepare them for job disruptions, or prepare for rejection. But I can’t imagine you saw much of that given your father’s successes. Was there a particular experience that helped really clarify what the work was like, or are you still searching for that clarity?
Part of it is just getting older. Obviously I started very young and didn’t have a full understanding of what the industry was. You meet a lot of writers who are struggling to make things happen. You see some who are very lucky and don’t know [rejection] Because they got really good opportunities. But even celebrities find it difficult. I feel like I’m very aware of how difficult it can be, even if you have connections.
Some of your articles address how dangerous it is to use Instagram; Have you ever thought about staying away from social media?
I write about my internet addiction, and even since I last edited that article, Instagram has changed a lot in what they show you and how quickly your algorithm can adjust. I don’t have a healthy relationship with him at all. I’ve stopped trying because it feels like a lost cause. Many of us feel like we wasted our entire twenties on our phones. I thought that when I turned 30, I would suddenly give up my phone. And then, when midnight came, I was on Instagram. You were great, I guess I haven’t changed. I’m so afraid the truth will be discovered in 10 years when the real results of what we all did to ourselves come out. It would be really scary to look back. It really affects a lot of different things. Sometimes, I look at an old Hollywood movie star and feel like I’m not wearing a mask. Now, it’s as if everyone has the same strange masked face.
Whose opinion about your work is most important to you?
for Frankly, everyone’s opinion has the same weight. I sent Lena Dunham an early copy because I’m obsessed with her, and she was very nice to me. So I would say it, but the man downstairs, as everyone says, is just as important to me.
With the book coming out, what is most important to you, especially regarding its success?
My biggest wish is not to be publicly humiliated, and that’s the most I can ever ask for.
