Conflicts are a normal part of every relationship, but what happens when you ignore them every time? Dr. Desai explains how relationships are affected.
In many Indian families, husbands are taught that keeping the peace means remaining silent. Argument is seen as a threat to harmony, and silence is often mistaken for maturity. But what happens when disagreements are repeatedly swept under the rug? Over time, unspoken frustrations and unresolved tensions can build up, only to erupt in ways that cause profound and sometimes irreparable harm to society. relationship.
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HT Lifestyle reached out to Dr Devanshi Desai for her expert insights – a Mumbai-based counseling psychologist A therapist with a PhD from the University of London, who attributes the breakdown of marriages not to one major argument but to a weakening of the bond over time due to increasing emotional distance and unresolved issues.
““Simple disagreements can arise unexpectedly, evolving from trivial disagreements into serious conflicts that may even lead to separation, whether the couples are married or in a relationship,” she explains. “This may stem in part from cultural conditioning. In many Indian families, partners are encouraged to “keep quiet” or avoid conflict in order to maintain harmony, believing that discussing issues openly may upset the family balance. But silent conflicts can be just as harmful.
Disagreements are inevitable
According to Dr. Desai, disagreements are a normal and inevitable part of any relationship. Differences in personality, values and values Communication styles mean that clashes are bound to happen. However, the problem is not the conflict itself, but rather how couples choose to manage and navigate those moments, which truly determines the health of the relationship.
“We can’t completely avoid them,” she explains. “Every couple is different. People have different communication styles, values and expectations. So, clashes are bound to happen. But conflicts are not the problem. It’s how you manage and deal with them that is. And if they are dealt with effectively, they can strengthen the relationship.”
Small conflicts turn into bigger issues
The psychologist explains that small conflicts often stem from everyday behaviors that quietly build up over time — not listening effectively, not paying attention to your partner’s needs, or forgetting things that are important to them. While these actions may seem minor in isolation, repeated occurrences can make a partner feel neglected or unimportant, gradually leading to deeper resentment and greater resentment. Relationship issues.
Dr. Desai points out, “Small conflicts in relationships often arise from simple, everyday behavior. This may include not listening attentively during conversations, staying on the phone while a partner is talking, or interrupting midway. Something as simple as forgetting something important, not appreciating your partner, or ignoring their preferences can also slowly create tension. When such issues are ignored or suppressed, they later develop into bigger problems. The person experiencing this may begin to feel insignificant. Individually, these actions may seem minor, but when Repeatedly, they slowly weaken the connection and threaten the bond.
When does conflict start to hurt a relationship?
According to Dr. Desai, conflict begins to hurt a relationship when it involves hurtful words, explosive reactions, withdrawal, manipulation, or issues that are never dealt with properly.
“If frequent arguments make a partner feel unheard, the relationship begins to suffer in the long run,” she explains. “These patterns usually stem from ineffective communication, unresolved emotional wounds, or difficulty managing stress.”
How to manage conflict better?
the The psychologist emphasizes that disagreements do not automatically call into question the compatibility between partners. It’s the natural result of two people expressing their thoughts, needs, and viewpoints openly. What really matters is the approach – listening intentionally, respecting each other’s feelings, and making a conscious effort to work on the conflict together rather than against each other.
“However, conflict in a relationship does not automatically indicate incompatibility,” she explains. “First and foremost, partners must understand that it is a natural result of two people expressing themselves honestly. So, take a pause before responding, listen attentively, recognize each other’s feelings, and make an effort to repair them. I often tell the couples I work with, that conflict that is not repaired becomes distance and builds resentment.”
The couples therapist ultimately highlights that healthy conflict is not about proving who’s right or winning an argument, but rather about approaching differences with empathy, mutual respect, and a shared commitment to understanding each other.
Note to readers: This article is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Always seek the advice of your physician with any questions about a medical condition.
Ishana Saha is a fresh face in lifestyle and culture journalism, bringing a sophisticated, multidisciplinary perspective to the intersection of entertainment, fashion and overall luxury. With less than a year of professional experience, she quickly adapted to high-pressure editorial environments and currently works full-time with HT Media. Before that, she interned for about six months in the entertainment and lifestyle department of Hindustan Times, where she gained hands-on experience in digital reporting, trend analysis and editorial storytelling. Based in New Delhi, Ishana specializes in comprehensive coverage of major cultural moments – from international film press tours to curated aesthetics for global fashion shows, award shows and music-focused events. She holds a BA in English from St. Away from the red carpet, Ishana has developed an increasing focus on health and wellbeing reporting. She bridges the gap between celebrity-driven trends and practical, evidence-based lifestyle advice, ensuring her work remains ambitious and grounded in editorial accuracy. She has extensively covered the health impacts of Delhi’s air pollution crisis, while also playing a key role in amplifying expert-led insights on women’s health and mental well-being, helping to translate complex medical perspectives into informed and influential public awareness. An artist at heart, she explores multiple creative forms – from visual arts and music to culinary experiments – and brings a creative eye to the nuances, textures and details in each story. Whether analyzing the dynamics of fashion modeling or examining emerging health movements, she remains committed to accuracy and the highest standards of contemporary journalistic ethics.Read more
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