Choreographer and dancer Shakti Mohan spoke candidly about facing bullying and sexual harassment while growing up, sharing how harassment was a constant part of her life. Opening up about sexual harassment, Shakti said, “Yes. Not just once – several times, in different places. And not just strangers – even relatives. Ask any girl, and you will realize that this is a very common thing.” She also revealed that similar incidents had occurred with her sisters and cousins as well.
Choreographer and dancer Shakti Mohan spoke candidly about facing bullying and sexual harassment while growing up, sharing how harassment was a constant part of her life.Speaking to Siddharth Kannan, Shakti said: “Eve teasing was a regular part of life back then – I don’t know if it still is, but for us, it was a constant.”
“It was a daily experience.”
Recalling her college days, she said: “Even leaving the house after seven in the evening made me feel unsafe, as if I was causing trouble. But this was not only the case at night, but even during the day, while going to college.”“I studied at Miranda House, and the two years I traveled by university bus were very traumatic. The way people looked at you, the way someone would come up and touch you – it was an everyday experience.”“Every day I came home safe and thanked God that nothing serious had happened.
She added: “Because we were hearing stories about girls being dragged into cars or assaulted.”
“Don’t be afraid…look back.”
Sharing how her family responded, Shakti said: “Once my sister even slapped a man on the bus. She used to tell us: ‘Don’t be afraid. “If someone stares at you, look at them and be intimidated.”She added: “But honestly, it’s terrible for women to live this way. If I had the means to travel by car, I would have done that, but we didn’t, so I had to go through this every day.”
“There was anger, a lot of anger.”
In response to such incidents, she admitted: “Of course. There was anger, a lot of anger. You feel helpless and think: What can I do to change this?”“Sometimes you feel like grabbing them and hitting them,” she said. “But many of these men don’t feel ashamed and it doesn’t even affect them.”
“It’s not about the clothes”
Speaking about blaming the victim, Shakti said: “This is completely wrong. I used to go to college wearing a full kurta pajama, with a shawl or jacket in winter.”She added: “If you want to blame someone else for your actions, that’s cowardice. It’s not about the clothes.”
“We teach girls everything, but not boys about consent.”
Highlighting the larger issue, she said: “As girls, we learn everything – how to dress, how to sit, how to behave, when to go home. But boys are not taught how to consent.”“I was wondering – why would anyone do anything wrong?” She added, recalling the confusion of her childhood.
“Not just strangers… but even relatives.”
Opening up about the sexual harassment, Shakti said, “Yes. Not just once – several times, in different places.”“And not just strangers, but even relatives. Ask any girl, and you’ll realize that this is very common.”“At the time, I was too young to even understand what had happened. I realized it much later, in college, when it suddenly occurred to me: ‘Oh, that was a mistake.'” She added: “This was someone we completely trusted, and my parents trusted me.”
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“I didn’t tell my mother… I was afraid.”
When asked about her parents’ reaction, Shakti admitted that she never told them directly. “Honestly, I didn’t tell my mother directly about this particular incident. Like I said, I told my sister. All of us sisters were shocked when we started sharing our experiences. There was a lot of anger. I didn’t tell my mother because I was afraid – what was I even going to tell her? What could she do?”She also revealed that similar incidents had occurred with her sisters and cousins as well. “Yes. I told my sister, and she was like a mother to us. Whether in boarding school or in life, we always went to her for everything. Then I started hearing stories from my other sisters too. And even from our relatives – it was the same pattern. Not just one or two people, but several relatives. At that point, you were wondering – what are you even doing?”
“We chose to disconnect.”
“We didn’t know what to do,” Shakti said, explaining why the perpetrators were never confronted.
By the time I realized what had happened to me, I was already in college. Years have passed. I didn’t know how to deal with it. All I can do is share it with my sister. After hearing everyone’s stories, she is even more shocked. In the end, I just chose to disconnect. You never meet these people again. That’s all we can do.
“Even today, she admits, the situation remains complex. “Honestly, I still don’t know how to deal with it, yet.
My mother also worried about the family’s reputation. Her instinct will be to protect us by telling us to be careful in the future, not to confront them. Calling them out in public – that would never happen in our family.
“Not all men…but some feel that this is their right.”
Shakti also pointed out, “Not all men, but yes, some men feel they have the right to talk to women a certain way or treat them however they want.”“This is something I still see clearly in society today, where raising boys and girls is very different,” she said.“It’s not hate, but there’s definitely anger towards certain men,” Shakti admitted, adding that she had also met “wonderful, kind, respectful people.”“In northern India, it was worse. After coming to Mumbai, I felt safer and more comfortable,” she said.“I feel Mumbai has a completely different culture, there is a sense of mutual respect between men and women.”
“If the mentality does not change, nothing will change.”
She concluded her speech on a powerful note: “We teach our girls to be careful, but we don’t teach boys how to consent.”“Boys often grow up with too much freedom and no clear boundaries. If this mindset doesn’t change, nothing else will.”