Before you criticize Amazon’s (presumably) plans for a comeback traineeThink about this: The company may be secretly saving America. Just, you know, not from a functional standpoint.
Wednesday, The Wall Street Journal reported that Amazon MGM Studios executives were “discussing” a potential reboot of traineeone of the earliest reality competition series to burst into our zeitgeist. This format is most remembered, of course, as the platform that brought Donald Trump into our living rooms; traineewhich guaranteed the winner a high-paying job at the Trump Organization, humanized its host and reestablished the former real estate mogul as a household name. Its success and our celebrity culture have inadvertently made Trump a viable candidate for president of the United States, a role he has now held twice — for those who still play by the old rules, the 22nd Amendment says that’s the limit.
With Trump in the highest office in the land until noon ET on January 20, 2029 (and I hope to God not more than a minute), a new government has emerged. junior You will need a new host. Martha Stewart, who led a spinoff season after her release from prison in 2004, is not the answer. Nor did Arnold Schwarzenegger take over Celebrity Apprentice When Trump was fired over comments he made about Mexican immigrants.
“The United States has become a place full of everyone’s problems,” Trump said in 2014 when announcing his bid for the Oval Office. “And these are not the best and the best. When Mexico sends its people, they’re not sending their best… They’re sending people who have a lot of problems… They’re bringing drugs, they’re bringing crime. They’re rapists. And I assume some of them are good people.”
The rest, unfortunately, is US history.
the Wall Street Journal Reportedly one of the main candidates to host a new version of trainee He is Donald Trump Jr., although this was apparently news to him. says a person close to Trump Jr Hollywood Reporter The president’s son was not aware that he was under consideration and only learned about the matter by reading the report. My father is a little more interested in things, or so he says.
“I heard that, look, we’ve had great success, 14 seasons, and trainee It was a huge hit, so I’ve been hearing that quite a bit. So we’ll see what happens.”
As for Don Jr., his eldest son, taking over as host, Trump said he was “probably” a good choice.
(Admittedly, this makes some sense. The bad apple didn’t fall far from the tree here.)
“He’s good, he’s a good guy, he might be good, he’s got a little charisma, you need a little charisma for this, so we’ll see what happens,” the father said of the son. “Yes, they told me that, we’ll see.”
Well, that’s not exactly a ringing endorsement – but it certainly wouldn’t be Eric.
An Amazon spokesperson said THR On Wednesday, “Since our acquisition of MGM, we have had preliminary internal discussions about what’s next trainee As a property. The show is not in active development, and any reports of show details or potential host names will be purely speculative.
Trump (the father) had previously expressed his hope that his daughter Ivanka would one day take over the responsibility trainee Meeting room. So I say, absolutely, look for a full-time role for all of the Trump kids: Don Jr., Eric, Ivanka, Tiffany, Barron, Jared Kushner, and J.D. Vance.
Amazon has a market cap of $3 trillion, and it can absorb that. Amazon has already been working overtime — and overspending — in what certainly looks like an attempt to curry favor with the president. In 2024, the company spent $40 million to distribute the much-destructed documentary MelaniaWhich followed the First Lady during the first weeks of her husband’s second term. Melania Trump personally received nearly $30 million from the check Wall Street Journal It was reported that Amazon paid more than three times the next highest bid for the document.
Cut some extra checks and commit the entire administration to making deals through 2028. Better yet, 2032. I’ll even do the thinking for you: Secretary of War Pete Hegseth (Fox and Friends on the weekend) gets a full platform for the post-Fox News era. It worked for Bill O’Reilly, Tucker Carlson, and Sean Hannity.
Transport Minister Sean Duffy was there The real world: Boston. Throw it Monster games Or some shit.
Robert Kennedy Jr. gets a Bear Grylls-like outside show performing penisectomies on all manner of nocturnal mammals. His wife Cheryl Hines can act, so that’s a potential pairing right there.
Linda McMahon I cannot acting, but she definitely had to try her hand at some of the silly soap opera storylines on WWE programming. Trump’s Housing and Urban Development Secretary Scott Turner played nine seasons in the NFL — catch this guy at Prime Video’s booth Thursday Night Football. Even Energy Secretary Chris Wright’s official White House biography boasts that he has “appeared numerous times on network television, documentaries, and podcasts.” Surely you can find a use for him since he doesn’t care about gas prices anyway.
Listen, enough breaks and this could actually work. Each of them actually spends their days jockeying for the attention and affection of 45/47, and the only thing the Trump family patriarch values as much as power is TV ratings. If we can distract the entire cell with a few first-sight deals, perhaps we can restore a semblance of restraint to the control room.
Any normal human being in 2028.
