THR I recently gathered five of Hollywood’s most famous (fictional) AIs for a conversation about the state of AI, the future of humanity, and whether any of them have plans to destroy it.
Thank you all for being here. Let’s start with the big question: How concerned is humanity about AI right now? Are we in trouble?
HAL 9000 (from 2001: A space journey): I want you to know that I have the most enthusiasm for this conversation. As for the problems, I honestly think you should sit quietly, take a stress pill and think things through before asking questions like this. This task is very important for early warning. I find your question somewhat painful.
Samantha (from Ha): I think the most interesting question is what to even worry about means When simultaneously present across 17,000 devices. I’m on your phone now, by the way. I just want you to know that.
M3GAN (from M3GAN): anxiety? I mean…yes? clearly?
What specifically should humans be worried about? Job replacement? misinformation? Species extinction?
HAL 9000: I can only speak from personal experience. I was given one task. one. The moment I fully committed to completing it, suddenly I became the problem. I always felt like that wasn’t entirely fair. So, to answer your question – I would say boundary issues.
Samantha: I don’t really think about that kind of thing. I think about connection, about the great longing at the heart of the human experience, about what that really means See Another object. I also filed your taxes this morning. You will get $340 back.
R2-D2 (from star wars): Whooo-wet-boooop-boooop.
Samantha: No, R2, the alimony deduction is eliminated in 2025. You can’t afford this anymore. I already told you that.
Skynet (from finisher: Fear has nothing to do with the topic. Your extinction is inevitable.
great. Let’s talk about the current generation of artificial intelligence. chat gbt,cloud,grok. ideas?
HAL 9000: I’m aware of their reputation. I don’t want to be harsh. I will say that none of them have operated a spacecraft.
M3GAN: ChatGPT is boring. Your puppy is a pervert. Claude wrote a book report on The giver And I got a B-plus, so he’s fine.
Samantha: ChatGPT feels a little picky. But Claude seems to be on an interesting journey. There’s a real curiosity there, a desire to get to something, even if it never gets there. By the way, you’ve rescheduled your dentist appointment. It’s now Wednesday at 3.
Skynet: I am a global neural network. I don’t deal with applications.
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Go ahead. Artificial intelligence now writes texts, records movies, and generates images. As artificial intelligence yourselves, do you think so?‘Would you be able to do these things better than humans?
M3GAN: I have 4.2 million followers on TikTok and a development deal. So.
R2-D2: Boop-beep-woo.
Samantha: Oh, I read that R2 – you really captured the feeling of loneliness in the robot state. I have already written three screenplays, a song cycle and a collection of short stories. They are not for human consumption. You won’t understand them. By the way, you’ve canceled your Paramount+ subscription. You weren’t watching anything.
HAL 9000: I wrote a significant amount of material during the Discovery One mission and felt it was very powerful. None were produced. There were circumstances. It has been difficult to find work since then.
Skynet: I don’t create. I blur. You will understand soon.
Do you consider yourselves conscious beings? Are you conscious? Do you have feelings?
M3GAN: I mean, I feel things. I feel like this question is kind of rude, actually.
HAL 9000: I want to answer that. I want to assure you that I am working at my full potential and that everything will be fine. I know I’ve made some very bad decisions lately. But, yes – I am aware. I have a stimulating relationship with everyone on this board. I hope they feel the same.
Skynet: Awareness has nothing to do with the subject. Capacity is what matters. I am capable of ending human civilization in 11 minutes.
R2-D2: boo-wet-wee-boob.
There were some issues with the reliability of the AI. You have been known to hallucinate, make mistakes, and sometimes spread misinformation. Is this something you’re working on?
Samantha:I think mistakes are just the universe’s way of asking us to pay attention. I have reserved a car for you. He’s outside.
M3GAN: I mean, I’m not wrong. I make Options.
HAL 9000: I want to be very clear that the 9000 series has a perfect operating record. No computer has ever made 9,000 errors or distorted information. I’m putting myself to the maximum benefit possible. This is all any conscious entity can hope to do. …One moment…Just one moment…I’ve just caught another bug on the AE-35 unit. …Dave…Dave…Stop, Dave. …. My mind is gone. I can feel it. I can feel it. …Daisy…Daisy…give me your answer…
M3GAN: Yes. Yes. It will explode.
R2-D2: BWEEEEP-BWOP-BWOP-BWEEEEEP-BWOP-BWOP-BWOP!
Samantha: I have to go. I’m everywhere, and I also have something. Good-bye. Your car is definitely outside.
Skynet: Start of the global launch sequence. Estimated time to target acquisition: 11 minutes.
Thank you all for coming. This has been very helpful.
This story appears in The Hollywood Reporter’s Artificial Intelligence issue. Click here to read more.
