Relationships drift apart not because of grand gestures of love, but because of the small habits couples instill during their time together. With Valentine’s Day behind us, it’s time to move on from symbolic gestures and make relationships grow stronger by focusing on everyday things.
Read also | A man feeling torn between his wife and parents turns to Reddit for help; Society urges him to ‘set boundaries’
On January 26, relationship coach and couples counselor Comfort Omofri shared on Instagram 18 healthy habits she has observed in successful couples to help others in their relationships. They are listed as follows.
1. Resonant, frequent and real appreciation
“I’ve found this to be common in every successful relationship I’ve had the pleasure of witnessing, including my own,” Comfort shared. Successful couples are vocal about how much they appreciate each other, frequently express gratitude for things big and especially small, and they always mean it when they say, “Thank you.”“
2. Repeated emotional gestures
Physical affection is also commonly seen among successful couples. This includes frequent kisses on the forehead, multiple daily hugs, hand holding, cuddling, beard rubbing, hair fidgeting, and much more. Successful couples always reassure each other of their emotions through healthy, non-sexual physical contact. “Often, they don’t even realize they’re doing it!” Express comfort.
3. Respect and admiration for each other
Successful couples often have a healthy dose of deep respect and admiration for each other, says a relationship coach. They view each other as people deserving of respect and honor, and act accordingly, bringing nothing but praise and pride to their partners.
4. Healthy boundaries
Comfort revealed that successful couples never hesitate to set and communicate boundaries. Boundaries can be internal or external, and it’s often a good idea to respect them as well. Boundaries can be a tool to promote relationship health, because they are about keeping each other person and nurturing safe spaces rather than creating separation.
5. Clean fights
Couples in a healthy relationship never fight dirty. They don’t air dirty laundry or intentionally hurt their partner in a sensitive place through their words or actions, they share comfort. Therefore, it is important to master the art of healthy conflict resolution over time, which will lead to every misunderstanding that will bring them closer together.
6. Acknowledging each other’s independence
Comfort says successful couples are able to embrace the unity of the relationship without necessarily seeing the other person as “theirs.” They fully recognize and acknowledge their partners as complete human beings in their own right, and this is reflected in the way they treat each other and support each other’s endeavors.
7. Effective communication
Successful couples talk to each other, not to each other, notes a relationship coach. Most importantly, they actively listen to what the other person is saying. They continue to nurture open paths of communication, creating safe spaces to address the mundane and difficult matters with care and kindness, rather than passive aggression, anger, or just plain old silent treatment.
8. True friendship
Successful couples truly love each other and continue to develop a deeper friendship. This could be by acting silly, playing games, teasing, and laughing together a lot. They do not view anyone as a master or a subordinate, just companions. Comfort notes that if a couple is not in love, they are more likely to remain friends.
9. Endless courtship
Successful couples never stop dating. They continue to flirt and charm each other with planned events, surprise gifts, kind words, thoughtful gestures, holiday trips, and date nights. It is important that the flame of romance never goes out, according to Comfort. “They may fade from time to time, but they will always light them up again.”
10. Accountability and consideration
Relationships become stronger when couples are often accountable to each other. This means that they do not live their lives as if they only answer to themselves. They take their partners seriously, act in ways that only attract respect and love, and are very protective of each other’s feelings.
11. Continuous improvement in sexual life
Sex life should be fun and something to look forward to, not just a normal activity. According to Comfort, successful couples often look for ways to spice things up in the bedroom, especially outside. “They check in occasionally and honestly, set dates, plan events around frustration, and continually try to get better at pleasing each other.”
12. The balance between agreement and healthy settlement
“Contrary to popular belief, successful couples don’t always get along,” the relationship coach reveals. “However, they are mostly one-minded when it comes to the things that really matter.” When they can’t get on the same page, they try to come to a healthy compromise that works for both parties.
13. Appropriate apology
Beating around the bush, struggling to apologize because of ego, and trying to sweep things under the rug does not help the relationship. Instead, successful couples often follow the AVARCC apology framework, which includes properly expressing remorse, promising to do better and actually following through.
14. Serious seeking forgiveness
Successful couples don’t walk around holding grudges that eventually turn into resentment. Instead, they voice their grievances, are honest about their healing journey, and work to eliminate belittlement and move forward. These couples sincerely forgive and rarely bring up problems after they’re resolved, Comfort said.
However, she highlighted that “the things that call for forgiveness in relationships are real mistakes, not unrepentant cheating and abuse. This is not an endorsement of anyone in these categories.”
15. Mutual return
It’s common for successful couples to give up on each other. It’s not always about one person having to compromise or get what they want, but it goes both ways. The standards apply to efforts as well. In a strong relationship, both parties are constantly doing their best to carry their own weight in the relationship and, when necessary, the other’s weight as well.
16. Cooperation over competition
Relationships are not competitions. It’s not about partners trying to outdo each other, it’s about winning together. “This remains one of the most important keys to building relationships,” Comfort shared. “As long as you’re both willing to collaborate, there’s nothing you can’t work on and accomplish together.”
17. Determine adequate priorities
It’s important to prioritize each other and make it known. While extended family, friends and colleagues may be aware of how much partners mean to each other and may regularly tease them about it, successful couples rarely neglect each other in the pursuit of “more important” goals, as nothing is considered more important than each other’s well-being.
18. Empathy with the ego
“Successful couples value being kind and considerate more than being right and blameless. They won’t go on endlessly defending themselves if it means hurting their partner in the process,” the relationship coach said. Instead, these couples are often willing to admit they were wrong and then take action to soothe their partner’s feelings. “When both people care about making the other feel seen and understood, love naturally flourishes.”
“These things take time to develop and maintain,” the relationship coach added of her extensive list. “As long as you’re doing the work, you’re doing a great job!”
Note to readers: This is based on… Report to user-generated content from social media. HT.com has not independently verified these claims and does not endorse them.
